If I were to guess the most common question in the last few decades, I would imagine that at the top of this list, you'd see the following:
"What is the best advice you ever received?" or perhaps "What's the best piece of advice you can give to someone?"
Suffice to say that this question is a simple one and yet so difficult to answer if we're able to adhere to the quick soundbite nature of life today. But even in recognizing this, attempting to match the simplistic question with a single answer is exciting.
So with that, my answer to anyone that ever pops this question to me is….
"Know Yourself."
It seems oddly naive. And the follow-up questions are bound to happen with a two-word answer like that.
What do you mean? Aren't you oversimplifying this? Did you even listen to the question I asked?
The list goes on and on.
Let me explain.
In this grand adventure called life, we are tasked with learning and knowing an incredible amount of information at any given time. Take a second to think about what you're called on to know. The pharmacist needs to be aware of chemical compounds. The mechanic has to know about combustion engines, and teachers are tasked with finding the best methods to teach students new material.
But amongst these "information discussions," how often are we focused on knowing ourselves & how we operate?
Not often enough, I'd argue.
And it's kind of ironic in a unique way. We get caught up knowing other things that we don't take the time to understand who we are as individuals or become so precise in what is best for us. And yet, the value of our "self" is beyond measure. That same "self" is the only thing we can create with, change it if we don't like it, have complete control over, and something that we make decisions with.
And yet, we let ourselves fade into the idea that it is ok not to know.
As we travel through life, there will be moments where it'll throw too many curve balls at us. We get hit with depression, mood swings, anger, and any other negative emotional experience you can imagine. If we start with a basis of not knowing "self" and we already struggle with emotional swings, it's pretty obvious why people go through hard times.
How do we get to know ourselves & how do we cope with what life throws at us?
I tend to believe that we first have to take the time to "measure" the main four pillars of what makes us who we are as humans. And under the assumption that there are four, here's the breakdown:
Physical - Our literal presence in the world. This category loops in fitness, nutrition, general health, our clothing choices (how we present ourselves), and what we choose to surround ourselves with.
Mental - Our intelligence and ability to process/store information. This category encompasses what we've learned over the years, the information we need for our careers, our ability to think things through and make decisions.
Emotional - Our natural feelings, how we react to positive/negative situations, and our ability to sync with people we love or causes we care about.
Spiritual - The higher self - often referred to as our life's purpose, calling card, connection to religion/nature, and accepting our place amongst the noise.
Understanding that these four categories control who we are, we then go a few levels deep on each by asking ourselves relevant questions such as:
Physical
What does my nutrition look like? And how does it make me feel?
Do I enjoy exercising? What activities hype me up & what time of day do I like to workout?
Do I place a priority on seeing my doctor regularly?
What kind or type of clothing makes me feel good? What is comfortable? And what does that say about me?
What environments do I enjoy being in? Where can I get my best work done?
Mental
Does my career or job excite me? Am I being challenged enough, or do I stay engaged long enough to be productive?
Am I an active participant in my life when it comes to learning through books, podcasts, videos, or experiences?
What things do I love spending time on that give me energy vs. stuff I have to do that takes it away?
Am I comfortable trying new things & being ok with looking like a rookie or making mistakes?
What are my personal beliefs? Why do I believe the things that I do?
Emotional
Do I have people in my life that I love, connect with on a deeper level, and can depend on?
How do I react when I am happy/sad/depressed/anxious/nervous?
How easily do I stress out or get angry? What causes that feeling?
Do I understand the root causes of my emotions?
Do I have the ability to get back on track during a bad experience, or can I build up this skill?
How do I handle professional or social rejection, bad news, or insults?
Spiritual
What do I believe to be true when I think about life as a whole?
Do I feel like I have a purpose in life? If not - how can I find it?
In a world of activity & noise, am I accepting of myself & my place amongst all of it? Why or why not?
The longer the life goes on, the more we'll be able to articulate the answers to these and any other questions that come our way. It takes more than a few months (more like years) to get a sense of how these categories play off of each other. The more knowledge we discover, the better we know ourselves.